can't get myself to do it
if you saw my room, you'd see i had good intentions....bins stacked in one corner, trash bag empty and waiting to be filled. the whole ordeal of packing has so much finality and everytime i think about moving....my stomach turns. the kind you get when you feel like bad news is coming. this is not to be considered a good sign but as i'm told....this is normal. i think i threw normal out the window a while ago. i did it weeks ago....the pros and cons list that convinced me either way and now that time is definitely creeping up on me, i am periodically stricken with panic. i never gave myself a pat on the back for this comeuppance....realizing now that i've walked away from the bad stuff with such ease and class. what does this say about what i left behind? or what kind of world was i living in the whole nine years? sure there's a lot waiting out there for me...but ugh. waiting! i'm waiting for the excitement to come...i'm waiting for that sigh of relief that will let me know things are right. they are never really wrong and i admittingly have absolutely nothing to complain about but this epiphany should be due soon and when it does...i can't wait to write about it!