stranger
when i hark back to those memories that used to make me smile or cry, i remember a different person. running into a complete stranger a mere 3 weeks after "knowing" him makes me think about whether people change or if they are simply just never the person you thought they were. i rehearsed the moment in my head repeatedly after deciding that we would never be the same....it was intended to be a friendly encounter but what became of it was a mere passing of eyes forcibly turning away. he is a stranger....not the man i loved. a man that is gone. this sense of gone confirmed that i am at a better place....out of harm's way. i've learned what a man shouldn't be and how i shouldn't be treated and what love really is. it is not a stranger passing....its someone that warms your heart when you think about them. its someone that brings you to tears when they are gone. its someone that can't be lost.
being here has opened my eyes to the comforts of being secure. i see the friends which i adore so dearly being sheltered by their providing husbands and enlightening children. i see why its safe here. my life in california has always been fast paced that i took for granted these relationships that should really have been more important and above all the relationships, the one i have with myself. i am not implying that settling down will easily become my purpose here because my primary motivation for moving back is a career choice. but i will say there are really good men out there.....who are genuine caretakers and have a lot to offer even if they may have also been wounded. i will never compromise the value that i am to any person that does not give me the same in return.
Comments
wow, i hear you loud and clear. i feel touched by your words and i'm ecstatic you are coming back. There are great men out there, the right one and yourself just need to trip over one another to get there, it will happen, have faith.
Posted by: Lescentive | June 22, 2007 4:02 PM
thanks for reading! i am indebted to you for what's come my way and am glad to have stumbled upon you :)
Posted by: mimi | June 23, 2007 3:35 PM