heavy hearted
as children we observe our parents and as we get older our understanding of the ways they have raised us influences how we begin to think about parenting/raising children of our own.
recently i've been exposed to the tragic circumstances within my family (not immediate) where they have become badly affected and continuously question the way in which they were brought up.
as a parent this perception pains me and makes me even more conscious of every thought and act that i instill in Kylan (and any child). while i can admit that my early relationship with my parents is not perfect, i can only say that i'd like to think i've learned to divert from their conservative and repressed ways.. . obviously the way in which my parents have raised my siblings and myself and even the ways they influenced kylan is different from the methods and reasoning that i've developed on my own. but the inevitable truth is that there is no perfection when it comes to raising kids. while there is a barrage of advice books, old wives tales, and oprah episodes that preach on what's right for your children, ultimately you are the primary executor when it comes to guiding your children. the way i measure my success is based on how well kylan is doing day to day. these recent revelations have weighed heavily on me because i am on the forefront of parenting as i speak (and until i die). i can't help but worry that Kylan will resent me for any decision that i've made. but i know truly this part of parenting is just reality beyond my control. while there is a lot to worry about....i do pride myself in how well kylan has been growing and these are what i would call the rewards of being a mommy.
Comments
I applaud you for your efforts. Im sure Kalan will turn out to be a wonderful individual. I teach elementary schools, and you can distinctly tell which kids are being raised in a nuturing environment and vice versa. Its very sad, but very true.
Posted by: trench | April 8, 2006 3:56 PM