mimi's island

so today a good friend of mine told me that i "need to be appreciated more" and right he is! in high school i read a book called "the road less travelled" and we learned about the concept of "delayed gratification"...meaning doing good without expecting immediate return and instead awaiting for ultimate good to come my way. my theology teacher would probably be pleased to know that i remember these lessons. but anyway...where the hell is my gratification? i would have to argue that people are way too comfortable with my level of "nice". i even remember taking one of those "YM" magazine quizzes back in high school..."are you a doormat?" i think i would still score very highly. maybe, again, its my mom's fault for modelling her passive and overly thoughtful ways...and for worrying too much about what the hell people think.....
my horoscope (i am not an avid believer of astrology) says that as a taurean, im supposed to be a raging bull....silent yet dangerous when aggravated. hrmm i have yet to wait for that raging bull. i will have to admit im a raging mom sometimes. i think that when i do show signs of anger or bluntness to people...it is misinterpreted....not taken too seriously or my point is not taken at all. and if ever i do cross my level of "niceness"...then people will think this is bad "oooohhh mimi is pissed"...followed by "she'll get over it". and i do because i am overly forgiving. there are only a handful of people who have wronged me (namely 3) who have managed to stay on my bad side and will never get an ounce of forgiveness from me. and i vow to unleash my raging bull on them when given the chance to one of these days. (if you know me well...you're probalby thinking "yeah right") ONE OF THESE DAYS.....i will break of this fragile shell and one of these days i will feel more appreciated than the day before. its all about delayed gratification but for now i'll call it delayed appreciation.